chemist do it on table ....

periodicalli

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jul. 14th... 2008

10 thing that make me lol

location= lcc
music= in love wit '80s- relient k

guys in pink
people singin wit their ipod
zebra print shoez
coco
vegan nugget
british accent
wackaloon
vibrate
wool/ silk blend yarn
single serve haagen dazs coffee ice creamtag= random

postd at 08=55 iz | link | leave comment | add 2 memoriez | tell friend

may. 9th... 2008

everyone takez their piece

*sorry. i guess lj ate bout half uv post.

thiz post not brought on by anythin specific. howeva... it iz sumthin that been on my mind 4 bit. it startd 2 float around my head afta readin bout open source boob project. thiz story got 2 me. but in entire story... nothin bothered me more than thiz line...
by end uv evenin... women wuz comin up 2 us. "my breast..." they asked shyli... havin heard bout project. "r they... r they good enough 2 b touched??!" n lo... we showed them how beautiful their bodiez wuz without turnin it in2 sumthin tawdry."

coz there small part uv me that feelz same way these women do... that need sum external validation uv my appearance.

then there wuz whole dc madame mess... where men involved... like sen. vitta... wuz given free passez... but women wuz put on stand n made 2 testify bout how they induced orgasmz in their client. prosecutor even asked 1 uv women wtf she did bout whole sex thin while she wuz menstruatin. all uv thiz 4 money launderin case.

n all uv thiz continuousli pointin out that even today... women do not own ourselvez.  when i think bout it... it lesson people has been tryin 2 teach me since i wuz fiv year old.

kindergarten... ridin bus hoem boy wantd me 2 kiss him. i sed no n got pushed 2 floor. i neva sed anythin.

when i wuz in fourth grade... anotha girl asked me when wuz i havin baby. why did she ask me that??! coz i had startd pubertee... n shocka... had developed breast. by end uv that year i wuz wearin d-cup... while most uv otha girlz weren’t even wearin bras.

next year i wuz accused uv stuffin my bra by girl i didn’t even know. i had just moved 2 that school n she wuz in otha class section. i tried 2 talk 2 adult... but they ignored it.

in sixth grade i got asked out by sumone i kinda liked. except he had friend ask me out. he also wantd 2 know wtf size bra i wore. i turned him down. but not coz i realized he wuz douche. i sed no coz i didn’t believe that anyone would actualli want 2 go out wit me. that it wuz sum massiv joke. i sed no coz i didn’t think that i wuz worthy.

sixth grade iz also year i think i wuz raped.

eighth grade. mark. mark wuz in my science class. just bout everyday i get sum comment on my body frm him. n i sed nothin. i pretended that it didn’t botha me... that it wuz harmless. finalli... i stood up 4 myself. i told him if he sed 1 more thin that i go 2 principal n tell him i wuz bein sexualli harassed. he neva sed anythin 2 me again. n yet... 1 uv my gratees regret iz that i didn’t let sumone know that it wuz happenin. thiz now onli exist in my memory. i’m sure mark haz forgotten it by now.

ninth grade... mixed volleyball pe classez. i like volleyball. when we played it in class... i discovered i wuz marginalli proficient. we wuz in middle uv unit. every now n then i would notice kid in balcony area watchin gamez. latta... i found out he like 2 look at me coz my ches bounced around. person who told me thiz made it sound like i should b honored 2 has gotten thiz attention. i... instead... felt ashamed.

eleventh grade.  i wuz walkin... sumwhere... n there wuz thiz mildli sketchy lookin guy.  as i walked past him... he told me i had nice rak.  i just walked away as quickli as possible.

all uv thiz before i wuz eighteen... n thiz not even near complete list.  each 1 uv these incidencez servin as reminda that 2 many people my body iz public domain.  n as year has gone by... i stil get comment on my body frm stranga.  but i gotten ova brush wit bulimia... n intense desire 2 get nose job... n various otha neurosez.  sure... i stil wish i wuz skinny n had perfect skin... but these strugglez don't define me like they has before.

i stil get harassed... usualli by random individual.  but today... most attempt 2 marginalize me... whetha conscious or not... r based on my intelligence.  most uv tiem when i come up against thiz i make sum sort uv stand.  in just bout every incident... they stil don't believe me.  n afta awhile it becomez pointless.  so i just let them go on.  n soon we reach point where there iz sum obvious flaw.  there extra meta in unit... or we has wrong slope.  n i get 2 point out that yep... girl wuz rite.

but just otha day i feel in2 trap.  i wuz convertin miliamp 2 amp by dividin by thousand.  my partna in lab came up n asked me wtf i wuz doin... i should b multiplyin by thousand.  n i believed him.  against all my instinct... i believed man who knows all even tho he wuz completeli wrong.  n each tiem i let thiz happen... i take step .  i get angry wit myself 4 lettin it happen.  n that naggin sense uv doubt... uv uncertaintee... just grows. tag= feminism

postd at 02=37 pm | link | leave comment | add 2 memoriez | tell friend

apr. 23rd... 2008

o... irony

may day not just may day anymore. no... by proclamation uv president uv unitd statez uv america it also national day uv praya. congress even passed law so that each year we can pretend we such moralli superior country coz uv deep n abidin faith uv it citizenz... both present n past. uv course... we'll just forget bout atheist n such. while we at it... let say we respect all religionz... but realli... it all bout christianitee. n ignore that fact that we not onli country in world that haz large religious communitee. hubriz in believin that god actualli carez bout 1 nation above all otha continuez 2 astound me.

wiiiai haz few word on it... 2.

4 ur readin pleasure...
proclamation by president uv unitd statez uv america

america trust in abidin powa uv praya n askz 4 wisdom 2 discern god wil in timez uv joy n uv trial. as we observe thiz national day uv praya... we recognize our dependence on almightee... we thank him 4 many blessing he haz bestowed upon us... n we put our country future in hiz hand.
frm our nation humble beginning... praya haz guided our leada n played vital role in life n history uv unitd statez. americanz uv many different faiths share profound conviction that god listenz 2 voice uv hiz children n pour hiz grace upon those who seek him in praya. by surrenderin our livez 2 our lovin fatha... we learn 2 serve hiz eternal purposez... n we r strengthened... refreshed... n reddy 4 all that may come.
on thiz national day uv praya... we ask god continued blessing on our country. thiz year theme... "praya!!??!! america strength n shield..." iz taken frm psalm 28=7... " lord iz my strength n my shield; my heart trust in him... n i iz helped." on thiz day... we pray 4 safetee uv our brave men n women in uniform... 4 their familiez... n 4 comfort n recovery uv those who has been wounded.
congress... by public law 100-307... as amended... haz called on our nation 2 reaffirm role uv praya in our societee by recognizin each year "national day uv praya."
now... therefore... i... george w. bush... president uv unitd statez uv america... do hereby proclaim may 1... 2008... as national day uv praya. i ask citizenz uv our nation
2 giv thankz... each accordin 2 hiz or ha own faith... 4 freedomz n blessing we has received n 4 god continued guidance... comfort... n protection. i inviet all americanz 2 join in observin thiz day wit appropriate programz... ceremoniez... n activitiez.
in witness whereof... i has hereunto set my hand thiz twentee-first day uv april... in year uv our lord two thousand eite... n uv independence uv unitd statez uv america two hundred n thirtee-second.
george w. bush
tag= idiot... politicz... religion

postd at 08=46 iz | link | leave comment | add 2 memoriez | tell friend

apr. 17th... 2008

i don't need thiz

location= lcc
mood= bitchy
music= adrienne pierce- lost n found

there reason why i not been that in2 politicz lateli. mostli... i has lot uv otha shit uv my plate... such as both my parent bein unemployed at moment... n tryin 2 get decent gradez. 2 lessa extent... i just get 2 pissed off. i realli don't need any extra grief in my life. but thiz mornin... i got cocky. i realli didn't think i could get more annoyed than i alreddy wuz (thank u... supreme court). i wuz so wrong.
.
at recent democratic debate... sumone asked obama why he don’t wear flag pin= “i want 2 know if u believe in american flag.” charlie gibson addin that not wearin 1 iz “major liabilitee” 4 him.

r u frakkin kiddin me??! realli... u care more bout tiny piece uv metal n paint... than i don't know... hiz frakkin votin record or stance on public education fundin... or any slew uv topicz that has any actual relevance 2... u know... real world??! i guess sumone runnin 2 b president uv america don't actualli 'believe' in american flag n america itself unless he wearin tiny pin... probabli made in china.tag= pissed off... politicz

postd at 12=15 pm | link |